Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
