Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
