you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
