It's Friday. Sex?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
