it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
