I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
