I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
