I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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