he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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