Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
