youre lurking in front of me
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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