You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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