Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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