wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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