would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
In America we eat man semen.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
