My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
