So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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