with your own penis?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Randomize