i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
