We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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