It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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