i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
