And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
