I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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