it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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