I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
