Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
