Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
