Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
