we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
