i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
