Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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