Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize