so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
