what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
