Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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