Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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