i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
