All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize