I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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