If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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