Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
