Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
