I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just tell him i said nine months
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
