lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
