I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
