So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
