what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
