i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
