i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
