it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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