he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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