I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
