im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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