Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize