so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sext me about skeletons
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
