i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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