Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
