I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
