Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
