OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You are a genius and a whore.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
